With my husband's last deployment, known to me as the worst year of my life so far, I experienced three life lessons:

  • I cannot depend on people alone for my support. Good people, people who care for me very much and love me...they will sometimes let me down. Sometimes that includes my church.
  • I cannot depend on circumstances. I am to expect tough times. This world is not perfect, it is flawed by the effects of sin...it will never be home. Hard times visit all, and we are never guaranteed when they will strike and how often.
  • God loves me...deeply. In the hard times, I can draw strength in who He is...that HE has not abandoned me, rather He is walking alongside me through the trials. As I grow through His Word, the Bible, I am continually amazed at His love for me, and for others.

The next trial is coming...perhaps it will be the next deployment. In the meantime, I am preparing and digging the roots of my faith in the streams of water from God's Word. And when the next trial comes...I'm going to draw from what I know to be true of God's character and continue to cling to his promises. He is my hope.
Submitted by Benita K.

Home Front Diaries
A sampling of our military lifestyle...the personal stuff
Here are stories, emails, and reflections written by the loved ones of our warriors. If you would like to submit a story, please e-mail me.
Email excerpts from OIF (March/April 2003)
"I'm wishing you were here more than ever. My midwife wants me to come in to be induced. So we're on our way to the hospital. It's 1 p.m. now on the 6th...I'm scared. This is not the way I wanted to go in. It was hard saying goodbye to the kids. I'm just doing the final packing and prep. now, and we're on our way. Miss you!!! Next time we talk we should be a family of 5. I love you so much." 3/6

"You're not going to enjoy hearing this, but Ian is starting to have a hard time with you being gone. I think the unstructured lifestyle for the kids as of late is taking its toll and not helping any. A few days ago when I was talking to him in his room (about his naughty behavior) he started crying and saying "I want my daddy". This of course got me going. He did it again yesterday, and I began to wonder if it was a ploy that was an attempt to melt me in his discipline. But then he said things like "I want Daddy to take me to N. & M.'s house tomorrow" and "I want Daddy to come back on the airplane" and a few other things I can't recall. So I tried to talk to him about the fun things that we were going to do to suprise you at your return, etc., and give our dialogue a more positive twist. That helped I think. I was just talking to (our friend) on the phone and she said he's been off on his own a bit, like sitting at the top of the stairs not wanting to play with the other kids. And he was crying a bit and saying "I want my Daddy". So she tried to talk with  him a bit about that." 3/13

"I guess we knew in some way the President's message to go forward would come, and with the 48 hr. ultimatum he gave Saddam and his sons, thankfully things are moving forward. I'm so glad the wait is over. Now the reality sets in though. I am concerned for your safety. And it troubles me that it may be a very long time before I hear from you again. Be safe, my love, and know that we and many, many others from church, familly and friends have you lifted up in prayer. We love you and anticipate your safe return. May God fill you with peace as you pass on the grace of God to those around you. May he equip you with strength when you are weary, and comfort when you are low. Know that we will be fine...don't worry about us. You know that so many people are caring for us here..." 3/18

"Well, it's been close to two weeks since we've had any communication. It's weird. The question of the day is "So, have you heard from (your husband)?...where is he...is he still in Kuwait?..." I just say, "No, and I don't know and shrug my shoulders" 3/30

"Well, don't worry about us. We are being more than well provided for. Meals 3x a week and childcare 1x a week. Lots of love and encouragement...My only issue is having a hard time getting enough sleep, but Kerrisan is doing well for the most part...she's close to sleeping through the night. She is crabby in the evening like I said...She is beautiful. I can't believe she's over 3 weeks old already."

"Ian and Luke continue to grow and change. Luke is turning into a solid little boy....not tall and skinny like Ian. And Ian is sprouting. Both continue to mature in thought and vocabulary. I'm going to do my best, but I wish I could document and video more than I have. And the lack of sleep is brutal. But God is carrying me through." 4/18

"We love you lots! Today I was explaining to the kids where we were going today....and Ian said "Daddy too?" Aaah! That was hard."
Anonymous


Facing the new year
Dear friends,
I must admit that I have struggled this week in the aftermath of Christmas and saying goodbye to my parents and watching the snow melt and the rain return.  I have found myself facing thoughts of another year of what looks like more separation and hardship, rather than a new year that looks filled with promise and joy.  I have been tempted to feel discouraged and weary and stressed – to pull away from activities and people, rather than engage and embrace these fresh days of 2009 with hopeful expectation.

I’ll be honest with you. I don’t like taking down Christmas decorations and packing away the ornaments and lights that have filled my home with such warmth and cherished memories in the past month. It is like boxing up and shelving a piece of my heart – the joyful piece. And it has always been hard for me. I find it even harder when Joe is not with me to break up the dreariness with his humor and presence – gratefully distracting me from the task at hand and making it go so much faster and easier. There is a “working together” part of it which eases my gloominess. 

I don’t have that this year.  Joe is an ocean away and I am still here trying to hold together a “home” that will never feel like home until he returns. It is what it is. I am not sharing this to depress you all – I just need you to understand the place where my heart begins so that you are able to grasp the true miracle of the place my heart comes to land.  You see, when I feel this way (which is often if I am honest) I go to my God with it. I have made it a habit to be in His word daily – to reflect on His promises and His character – to create an opportunity through this discipline for Him to meet me and refresh my soul.  And he does dear friends. He always does.

This morning my heart camped out on the scripture from my final reading in my devotional “Streams in the Desert”.

               “Thus far has the Lord helped us.” -1 Samuel 7:12

As I read these words, it was as if the Lord was breathing fresh air into my weary soul. He began to remind me of all the ways that He has come to my aid, not only in this past year of 2008, but in all the years and difficulties of my life up till now.  As I recounted time and again where I felt depressed, hopeless, overwhelmed by circumstances and hardships and how my faithful, compassionate God had “helped” me in and through those times, the fog in my heart began to lift.  Instead of depression I felt gratitude. In place of discouragement I felt hope. Instead of sorrow and longing, I experienced something deep and healing and unexpected…joy.  That is where my heart has come to rest in this journey. And my friends, that is the miracle I wanted to share with you.  My story is a long way from finished – as is yours-but we can look to the future of this journey with hopeful courage and “joyfilled” expectation for we know how “thus far the Lord helped us”.

In my journal this morning I wrote these words:  Lord – as I reflect upon this past year I see so much heartache, difficulty and separation. And yet my Father, this journey has also been punctuated by times of intense joy and a depth of comfort I have never experienced before this deployment. I have learned so much as I have been forced to trust You and depend completely upon You for absolutely everything. You have been my “husband” and You have been the “father” that Kelsey, Kate and Marcus have needed. You have been Josiah’s Rock, Fortress and Deliverer over there in the desert of Iraq.

You have been the light of hope for our hearts through dark and rainy days, and Your special presence and Your Word have dispelled my loneliness.

               Oh my God…it has been so hard…but it has been a “good hard”.

Dear friends, may this coming year, with all it’s challenges and unexpected twists and turns be – when all is said and done – “a good hard”, for we serve a Good God.

               For I, the Lord your God,
                               hold your right hand;
               it is I who say to you, “Fear not,
                               I am the one who helps you.”
                                               ~Isaiah 41:13

Submitted by Kristen H.


I don't know how you do it?!
How many of you, when the subject comes up about the deployment you are experiencing in your family – especially right now during the holidays -, whether it be 4 or 15 months, have heard the words “ I just don’t know how you do it!?”

This is what I got last year while in the midst of another deployment that came on the tail of many frequent and long separations from Joe already, and this one was the most dangerous of all to top it off. My husband, Josiah, left in April of '08 and he didn’t return until this past July.

What I really want to share with you is a personal testimony of “making it through.” I want you to know that what I say comes to you from someone who has a heart that truly understands what you are in the midst of… But most of all, I want to offer you a hope-filled perspective that you can take away with you in the hopes that you will apply it to your own family.

This isn’t going to be a talk about practical tips on “soldiering through the holidays without your spouse” and “how to’s” of staying busy, connected, or ideas for soldier care packages. Those are all great things but they do not address the issue at heart…how we truly make it one day at a time, one moment at time.

So I’ll start with this: it is what it is. Isn’t that true? Each and every day was hard. Each and every day I awoke thinking: OK Lord- how are we going to do this? I didn’t have the answers so I turned with all my heart to the Only One who does. I kept a journal and so I want to share some of what I wrote – I’m sure you will identify with much of it!

In June of this year I wrote:
The truth of it is that every day is hard when your best friend/husband/father of your kids is an ocean away in a war zone. Each day you have to find  a place to shelve the fears, anxieties, longings, and lonliness that plague your heart…How do you live a life together while you are living a world apart??

All I can say from my time as an Army wife is that it is never easy. I can also say that it is the fact that it is so very hard that makes it such an amazing gift in the end. The truth of it is that the iron and strength of our faith; our marriages; and our “family bond” is forged in the fire of this adversity.

I am not speaking as someone who believes she has all the answers…all I have to offer is my own experience and testimony of how the Lord met my heart in this 15 months of separation from Josiah, giving me fresh hope and strength day by day, infusing my life with His love and reviving my soul with courage just when I felt I had nothing left.

The hard things for me have been:
  • the constant added weight of not being able to lean on my husband
  • the extra responsibilities with the home and cars
  • trying to stay connected and help my kids feel that their Dad is still a part of their daily lives
  • the constant battle of sparratic and difficult communication
  • the fears over Joe’s safety as well as his heart
  • the pressures and stresses of single parenting-especially when it comes to Marcus
  • having to make decisions alone
  • never being able to just pick up the phone and talk to Joe when I desperately need to talk to him about something or just to hear his voice
  • the lack of daily physical affection
  • the long lonely nights
  • times of fear over the kids and my physical safety/security with Joe gone from the house
  • not having anyone to back me up and praying that I don’t get sick
  • not being able to share the stresses and humor of the little things in my day with the only guy who totally gets it
  • not having anyone to share the driving on road trips
  • sitting alone in church week after week
  • watching couples holding hands and dads enjoying their kids at the park
  • going to parent teacher conferences; special awards; performances and concerts at school and church for our kids alone
  • knowing he missed out on so many of our kids “firsts” like riding a bike without training wheels or the first baseball game
  • carrying pictures of him with me everywhere just so I can see his face.

And so many other things…
  • like trying to keep it together in front of my children when I am falling apart inside
  • crying in the shower and as I run in the rain, and into his empty pillow at night
  • heartbreaking difficulties with my laptop connection, Skype, or missing one of those precious phone calls even though my cell phone is on a lanyard around my neck!
  • trying to change lightbulbs I’m too short to reach, or hang Christmas lights on our wobbly ladder
  • refinancing our home using a POA and having to sign his name a million times
  • setting 4 places at the table instead of 5
  • missing his shoes and coat by the front door and his clothes in the laundry
  • the way he leaves empty coke cans all over the house, and open cabinet doors in the kitchen
  • the lack of sticky notes and lists on the counter in his handwriting
  • emergencies with the kids and grueling trips to the ER  and doctor without him to reassure me or meet us there

Those were all things that were a constant reminder of Joe’s absence, and of the sad and difficult truth that--for so many months…he was not coming home soon.

My purpose in sharing all that is not to further depress you, but rather to identify with where you are right now. I never want to sugar coat what has been a very hard journey. I want to be honest about the hurt and the difficulty because those are the very things that emphasize the miracle of the joy and peace and comfort that I have also experienced on this road. When there is much to overcome, the more we recognize the work of our overcoming God as He moves us along.

This brings me to what I have so fondly come to call my “Deployment Scripture”:

Psalm 66:8-12 “Bless our God, O peoples; let the sound of His praise be
heard, who has kept our soul among the living and has not let our feet slip.
For You, O God, have tested us; You have tried us as silver is tried. You
brought us into the net; You laid a crushing burden on our backs; You let men
ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water; Yet You have
brought us out to a place of abundance.”

Do you hear that friends? The psalmist is praising God for His goodness, His deliverance, His provision in amazingly difficult situations…very HARD places, involving both relationships as well as circumstances, threats and fears…Sounds a lot like Deployment, doesn’t it?

My own heart has come to echo this very truth as He proved to me day after day the one thing that enabled me to forge ahead – and that was this:

When I rest in God’s Presence and His Promises,
He will always meet my Problems with His Provision.

This is where the hope comes in and this is the encouragement my friends…that last line…that’s what I can voice with all my heart from this side of this deployment

“Yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.”

Abundance: a place of extravagant goodness and grace, it implies an ongoing and never ending supply that exceeds all expectations!

Now I want to share briefly a little of what that “abundance” looks life in my life…(Break-throughs in parenting my son Marcus, lifting my depression,deepening my relationships with Kel and Kate, strengthening our family bonds - in our immediate as well as extended family, providing safety for Josiah through extreme danger, miraculous strength for both of us, amazing encouragement from others at perfect moments and in miraculous ways, fixing and repairing a myriad of issues with the house, computers and cars! Enabling me to write and share from a deep place and a deep experience of His Love and presence!)

I remember one of my readings from Streams in the Desert (a daily devotional I used last year) that God does not promise that we will “be spared the heat of battle and confrontation with our foes” but rather that He Promises to  Provide for us “a shelter from the storm, a fortress amid the foe, and a life preserved in the face of continual pressure” The writer went on to point out that “we often pray to be delivered from afflictions, and even trust God that we will be. But we do not pray for Him to make us what we should be while in the midst of the afflictions. Nor do we pray that we would be able to live within them, for however long they may last, in the complete awareness that we are held and sheltered by the Lord and can therefore continue within them without suffering any harm.”

This is what I am praying for all of you  – this endurance and genuine hope that comes from knowing that our God has all of it, all the hard stuff going on in your world – that He is fashioning something breathtaking from all the mess and painful seperation and weariness. And in the meantime, you experience a closeness to Him you’ve never known before and could never know without walking through this place while He holds you.  Could that be the beauty for which He is aiming? The beauty of His own precious face being reflected in the light of our eyes as we focus on Him with an intensity as never before. The kind of beauty that changes us forever. I believe so.

The final sentence of that days reading in Streams in the Desert sums up my whole experience over the past long and challenging and precious 15 months…both for me and for Joe…

“They were able to endure in the presence of their enemies because they
dwelt in the presence of their God.”

Now this is the “Hope-filled” Perspective with which we can face our next “problem” And the answer when people ask us how we “do this”.  I learned a long time ago to trust Jesus as my Savior – that He died in my place to purchase my peace and my eternity with God as I confess my need for His forgiveness. What I learned over the course of this last deployment is that Jesus-my Savior- is not only the provider of my salvation, but he continues to “save me” daily in whatever problem I am facing.

So dear friends -Do not dismiss/downplay or depress the pain – allow your Heavenly Father to take you through this deployment with all it’s blessings and challenges, and He’ll expand your heart in the journey as He provides all that you need along the way. His is a love of abundance!!
This is Hard…but it is a “good Hard.”
Submitted by Kristen H.


God is with us
God and I have a humorous relationship, much like my husband and I. I felt broken hearted a lot of times during this last 15 month deployment. My husband has always been the best at making me laugh and see things with a lighter heart. When I would be really missing him and had not smiled in days, God was there. My husband and I have a band that is very special to our relationship and always makes me think of him when I hear them. When I was in one of these moods I would be out doing errands and wherever I would go, there would be a song on by this band. I have even heard them in music form in a store and in the elevator! Everytime this would happen a much lighter heart and smile on my face were the results. God reminded me often of his promise to me and my husband is now safely back at home with his family. God is everywhere with us if we just take the time to listen and acknowledge! We are not alone.  (Author’s note: lest you think this is coincidence, the band I am referring to is very obscure and was played on stations that would normally not play “classic rock” and on one occasion, when I was questioning whether it was God or not, I left one store with the music playing and went to another store where another of their songs were playing! He has a sense of humor with me.)
Submitted by Sherri T.


I was forgotten in the church family...
"I am a spouse of an active duty military member, but I'm also a veteran for over 7 years USAF active duty. I identify myself as being a veteran first because I will always be a veteran and this helps me understand my husband's job even more. I, too, have been in the "need for help boat." My husband has been deployed and I figured "I handled a deployment before, then I can handle the home!". Nothing was farther from that.

Luckily, I had a friend who watched the kids on a regular basis. I paid her because she was our sitter and I worked. However, she went out of her way to come over to our home and fold a few loads of laundry. Any spouse (or single mom/dad for that matter) knows that folded laundry is like having a perfectly cooked steak or delicious chocolate. I mustered up confidence to call my husband's shop and ask if someone could come by to hang Christmas lights. They agreed, but quickly forgot about me. I was never invited to the squadron's Christmas/Holiday party, which is pretty normal for squadrons to invite deployed members' spouses. I also let our church pastor know about our situation, feeling that I would be welcomed with open arms by the church. I didn't feel it was only the pastor's responsibility to check up on us, but the church as a whole bares that responsibility. Needless to say, I was forgotten in the church family, even though I am a member.

I think USAF first sergeants (First Shirts or just Shirt) need to pick up the slack in their squadrons. When I worked for 66th Rescue Squadron, our First Shirt was responsible enough to contact my husband while I was on deployments, even though he was active duty too. How nice it was to know that my Shirt did his job and actually contacted spouses! This was over ten years ago and I still remember it. He even received mailings from our squadron to let spouses know that they are being reached out to. He was called by our squadron when our flight was delayed. It's simple communication like this that makes spouses feel important and it should start with the First Sergeant -- THAT IS HIS JOB! That is why he has a desk and office usually next to the Commander's office. That is why they go to school for months and apprentice training to get the position. We didn't have kids then, but I could imagine the outreach to families with kids. They are not just in the position to bail out a DWI/DUI mil member, they are there for supporting their Airmen. Of course, this applies to other services too."
Submitted by Tarah J.


Leaning on God more than I lean on my husband
"There is something that I have been coming to realize.  I need to look at my circumstances and instead of being frustrated that things aren't exactly as I want them, I need to see it as "This is what God wants."  I know He has His reasons for everything, God-cidences as my friend calls them. I can look back over the last week and see very clearly that the reason it took us so long to return from our state (we traveled Space A and it took us 8 days to get back) is that God wanted a willing heart in me.  He wanted me to get to the point that I WANTED to get back to our duty station.  He wanted me to be grateful to return here. And I was. But it took being stuck for 6 days and another 2 days at an AFB.  Frustrating as it was, I knew what He was doing. He was quieting my heart and putting me in a place where I would accept His will.

I have accepted it, which is why I'm not looking at moving to our state.  I'm just trying to find that joy again in serving Him and doing His will.  He has a reason for this storm.  And I know that even in the midst of it I am held.  Quite honestly that's about the only comfort I have right now.  I don't think I'm being disobedient in this place.  I am going where He tells me to go.  And I am trying to have a cheerful heart about it.  I know He is good all the time.  I do not doubt that, even for a moment.  He tells us not to fear and not to worry.  I am not fearful, I am not worried.  I have total peace about my husband's safety and about our future.  It's just sadness and missing him.  I'm learning to lean on God in a way that I never have before.  In the way that I have always leaned on my husband.  And that's hard to do.  I read something recently and I'll probably butcher the quote but it said "Sometimes God calms the storm that is swirling around His child, and sometimes He calms His child in the midst of the storm."  That's what He's doing.  He's calming me.  I'm in a better place now than I was 2 weeks ago.  It just takes time.  And apparently I've got plenty of that!"
Submitted by Kelly P.



Military families need real, physical help
"I am on my second deployment, this time in a new city that I barely now yet. I WILL NOT have a deployment like last time. I will take control. Military families need real help. It is harder then any one can understand unless they themselves have gone through it. Being alone, with not family or friends to turn to, left me depressed, anxious, paranoid, and more! This time I will seek out every available resource. Although people occasionally say thank you, it does not help me deal with two sick children, work, chores, stolen items, a broken into house, or damaged appliances. Military families need real, physical help. My children and I give our lives for your freedom. Can't you give us an hours help sometime?"
Submitted by Dawn M.


Respite care for exceptional family members
"My first experience with deployments was the Persian Gulf War in 1990 and there were no FRG's as we know it today.  It was known as FSG's (Family Support Groups) but they were not as well supported as today.  I found out Mike had deployed two days after he left when everyone was called in to view a flight manifest to see if our spouse was on there(Mike was in a rapid deployment unit in the 82nd Airborne). There was no support, in fact the officer's wives had to help the Commander's Wife due to being overwhelmed with all of the spouses left behind, some could not drive or their name wasn't even on a checking account and they had no money. I had to help some of those families. As for myself, I was left with a severely handicapped child and had to call on family to come and stay with me.  In between those visits it was very difficult to find someone to just stay with my daughter so I could go to the store.  We did not attend a church off post since Mike was committed to chapel services on post.  I think the families with an exceptional family member must be remembered during these deployments and some assistance provided to them.  It would be great if there was a list of people who would be interested in providing just an hour or two of respite for these families. Mike was also deployed in Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003-2004 and 2005-2006 while we were stationed in Germany. My daughter was no longer living at that time but I was left by myself. Many of my friends were going through it too and I found comfort with their friendship and staying involved with PWOC and chapel stuff.  We would even get together and have dinner and catch up on stuff.  A couple of the ladies from our unit and I even went on a trip together. I think the main thing if your alone during a deployment is to stay involved with the outside world by doing things with friends.  I know each person handles a deployment differently but this is just what I experienced and staying busy and interacting with others helped pass the time."
Submitted by Delores L.


One Year
What is one year? Is it a lot or not so much? Someone actually said to me on Saturday, "Wow. Has it already been a year? That went fast." Really? Maybe for you. For us, this was one year:

One year of preparing every breakfast, lunch and dinner. One year of helping and eating with kids at every meal. One year of pouring every cup and fixing every snack. One year of wiping every nose, changing every diaper, and cleaning every wound. One year of dressing everyone, putting on every shoe, brushing every tooth and hair, packing every bag, helping with every coat, and getting out the door. One year of buckling and unbuckling the car seat. One year of baths, bedtime stories, medicine doses, prayers, and tucking in. One year of getting up every time in the middle of the night. One year of getting up every time in the morning. One year of doing every dish and load of laundry. One year of cleaning every toilet, sink, shower and floor. One year of pumping every tank of gas. One year of driving everywhere. One year of buying every grocery item. One year of disciplining and dealing with tantrums. One year of going to every practice, game and event. One year of taking every picture and video. One year of every drop-off and pick-up. One year of every dog walk. One year of every appointment. One year of mowing, edging, pruning, weeding and raking. One year of taking out every bag of trash. One year of pushing every swing, steering every bike, playing every game and reading every book. One year of communicating with husband and Daddy through mail, e-mail, chats, Skype and the occasional phone call. One year of telling him goodnight in the middle of the day and to have a good day before going to bed.

One year of working 18 hours a day, each and every day of the week. One year of trying to squeeze in time to write, e-mail, chat and Skype with wife and kids. One year of eating every meal in a dining facility. One year of showering in a trailer with a bunch of other guys, always in shoes. One year of sharing a CHU with a stranger. One year of living in something called a "CHU". One year of wearing the same clothes and boots day in and day out. One year of being covered in sand. One year of carrying a weapon everywhere you go. One year of walking everywhere. One year of not driving. One year of deciding between being up all night to see football or to get that much needed five hours of sleep. One year of no trips to the school, park, ball field, movie theater, mountains, pool, ski slopes, or beach. One year of missing out on what your kids are learning and how they are growing and all the funny things they do. It's like walking in the middle of a movie and trying to figure out what you missed.

Yeah, in some ways maybe it did go fast. The kids seem to grow so much and being busy with them makes the time pass faster. But really, when you look at it, a year is a lot.
Submitted by Donna H.


Saying good-bye
Dear family,
Josiah left last night for the deployment as scheduled.  We spent about two hours with him at the Battalion where we said our last goodbyes.  It was a long and hard day but God is good to us and we made it through.

Thank you for loving us and praying with us through this.  Joe called me from his stop over in Maine this morning before boarding the plane to Germany. From there he will head to Kuwait where he will inprocess and get acclimated for about two weeks before heading to Camp Speicher.  Thanks for all the phonecalls to Joe before he left and the emails (and text messages) to both of us over the past couple days especially. 

Coming home last night was hard – everything reminds me of Joe. This morning I made coffee for two and cried at the sight of his toothbrush-the kids really missed him on our bike ride this afternoon and the games he always plays with them at the park.  These are things that hurt a lot at first and then become a little easier to bear with time and the Lord’s comfort in telling me each day that we can make it through this together – that He has something better for our family on the other side of these deep waters, and that He will show us more of Himself in the midst of the waves.  His promises to my heart are more precious now than ever before and they are the only thing that will conquer the lonliness and fear I face.

“Blessed are those whose strength is in You,
Who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
They make it a place of springs;
The Autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength,
Till each appears before God in Zion. …
O Lord Almighty,
Blessed is the man who trusts in You.” – Psalm 84:5-7,12

I am not alone. Joe is not alone.  My God will never leave us or forsake us in this place.  He will make a spring of His goodness and faithfulness well up in this desert – in the desert my husband faces, and in my own. Thank you, my family, for reminding me of that in a million different ways and in a million different words this week.

From strength to strength,
Kristen

Tonight as I tucked Marcus into bed he said “Mom, could we pray for Daddy” And we did.  And we will – every night until he is safely home himself to tuck Marcus in again.

“Only the soul that knows the mighty grief can know the mighty rapture. Sorrows come to stretch out places in the heart for joy.” (selected from Streams in the Desert)
Submitted by Kristen H.


Spouses need to hear thank you too!
My husband asked me to give you my whole story. He had no idea until Christmas what has happened. Our men and women serving are told there is support back here.

My husband and I meet over three years ago while he was deployed. We were penpals. Both his marriage was over as well as mine. We offered support to each other. We became fast friends.

I have two children in the autisum spectrum. I was not looking for a relationship. I don't think my husband was either. I was very happy to lend my support to someone that needed a good friend to listen. My husband is a very kind hearted man and I was shocked to hear he was an officer. Over the time we talked online we learned more about each other and fell in love.

I was very careful not to bring him into my children's life until we knew it was real. I was worried about him being deployed again. Change is very hard for children with autisum to understand such things. When we thought he would not be deployed we were engaged. Two days later after he was working night and day, both at his full time job and helping with the deployment, we found out he was going. We had three months to prepare.

My husband did his best to help me prepared. We just didn't have enough time. He told me the military would be there for me. We got married just days before he got on the plane for Iraq. All the time my husband believed the military would help me. I asked for help learning the system and filling out paperwork. I have learned very quickly that the help was not there. I fell into a depression. I've since gone to seek help for this.

I do attend Church and they try to help. However we have at last count, seventeen people deployed in my church. All the families have stories of the military not helping the spouses. Children and parents receive help. As spouses go we have been told we picked this life. Deployment is part of it.

My husband and I do our best to support each other. I have gone through every holiday this past year alone. My children went with their father on those days. I don't have any family other than my husband and children. Living with children in the spectrum doesn't leave time to make friends.

Two months ago my husband had intended to retire after thirty one years of service. I look forward to my husband's return and to start our marriage. I didn't have a wedding or honeymoon and hope to have a do over upon his return. I just hope his family and friends undertsnd we need time to restart our life together. I feel that they will want to see him and pressure him to see them first.

I pray everyday our love is strong enough to make it through. I pray my story will help someone else! I pray the spouses at home will hear a Thank you. That is all we need.
Submitted by Jacqueline M.


Surrendering my husband
As my husband was getting ready to re-join the army in late 2007, God was dealing with me the fear of death.
I was bombarded with questions like what if I lose my husband, what if he gets hurt, etc.
I didn’t want to deal with these questions so I decided to push them aside …

We continued to prepare ourselves for the major changes we were about to face.  Rick was at a point where he was ready to live and die if it pleased God but I haven’t arrived there yet.  I became angry at Rick that he would even talk about dying.  I was hurt because I was very scared.

Then at one of the intercessory prayer meetings at a church we were serving, God began to deal with this fear of death through Psalm 115:1-3. 
Verse 3 in particular was ‘haunting’ me for quiet some time back then. 

It reads:

1 “Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to Your name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness. 
2 Why do nation say Where is their God? 
3 Our God is in heaven; He does whatever pleases Him”

God was saying, “I DO WHATEVER PLEASE ME.”

God was stripping me of this false security I had. 
He opened my eyes to see, really see that our days are numbered.  Anybody can die at any moment at any where.  He began to deal with this fear of death.
But more than that, He was dealing with my idols and my pleasures. 
Am I living to please God or please myself? 

Then He asked me very gently.
“Can you surrender Rick to Me?  I will be Everything to You.  I will be Your husband.”
By this time, I was crying like crazy. 
Then, I placed Rick into my hands and offered him to the Lord singing, “All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give.” 
As I surrendered Rick, Psalm 115, verse 3 became a reality.

“Lord, You do whatever please You because You are simply God.”

At that prayer meeting, God led me to a place where I needed to be. 
This might sound a little strange to some of you but God brought me to a place where I can honestly say,

“Lord, if Rick dies but if that pleases You, then let it be.  Do whatever pleases You because You are simply God.” 

Rick will be deployed late July or early August and I know that it will be a difficult journey.
I am thankful that I have God who is and will become everything to us if we let Him.
Truly, in the face of trials and hardships, Jesus is there and He is enough.
Submitted by Sara P.


Unfortunate event - Church support
Yesterday, while the kids and I were in church, someone smashed in the passenger window in our van (in the church parking lot) and stole my purse which had my wallet and cell phone in it and some other medical papers. Friends of ours also had their car window smashed in and their GPS stolen.

It was rather nerve wracking to discover, and yesterday, in some ways, feels like a blur to me this morning. However, I woke up so very thankful for my church family who went “into action” yesterday in amazing ways on my behalf while I was stunned and upset and scared, and trying to think through a million things at once and field phone calls to police, Verizon, bank, credit agencies etc… all the while – having no contact with Josiah who was completely unaware and totally unable to help or comfort me.

The Lord made it so very evident to me that I was not alone. My “Care group” cleared out all the broken glass from inside and around my van, vacuumed it out, taped plastic sheeting over the exposed window, checked over the church grounds and surrounding areas for my belongings in case the thief/s had discarded anything they didn’t want/need. Helped me know who to call first. They took care of my kids, fed us, brought us home and cleaned out the garage in order to park the van in there for security.  Provided me with cash until I receive my new cards and IDs. One family even provided me with a replacement cell phone (much better than my old one!) They physically comforted and helped me in so many practical ways throughout the whole day and into the evening…they never left me. I always had a friend by my side.  They listened to me cry and vent and helped me to even laugh at times through it all.  That’s what “Christ’s love in action” really looks like.  He was reminding me that in those times when I feel most vulnerable, most alone, most exposed and violated…He carries me. That is what He did all day yesterday. Through their visible acts of love, He was extending to me His invisible comfort and strength. It is a truly amazing thing to experience.

So…today I continue the process of replacing ID’s and following up on things and fixing the van. Joe was able to call and talk to me and to the kids and I was so grateful to hear his voice. Something keeps going through my head – I lost nothing of value that could not be replaced. I have so much to be thankful for. I learned some hard lessons about security in the process and the fact that our ultimate security must always rest in our God…there are some things that only He can restore – and Peace of mind is one of them. Please pray for us as He is in the process of doing just that for our shaken family.

And thanks so much for continuing to “bear with us” so much during this deployment. Your warm thoughts and prayers are a great and necessary comfort – you are dear to us!

Having nothing, yet possessing everything, (2 Corinthians 6:10)

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; For You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” ~Psalm 4:8
Submitted by Kristen H.










Reflections
"I just had an interesting realization.  I was pondering my military life, how crazy it is that it is so difficult and requires so much of me in strength and sacrifice, and yet it is a lifestyle, being military, that I am completely drawn to and can't imagine living without.  To put it concisely then, I realized I have a life that I wouldn't wish on anyone, and yet I wouldn't give it up for the world. How bizarre.  I can't imagine anyone having to go through what my family and I have to go through, and yet as we travel it, it is so fulfilling.  We gain strength in the difficulties and excitement over the things going on.  It doesn't seem like that is all worth the fact that my husband is away from us for 15 months, but God has poured out his grace on us to get us through it.  He grows us in the process and shows us some amazing things He can do through us and for us.  Thank you, Lord."
Submitted by Kristi H.
A great video about what our military families go through
Deployment:
Community Support
E-mail excerpts from OIF (March/April 2003)
Facing the new year
God is with us
I don't know how you do it?!
I was forgotten in the church family
Leaning on God more than I lean on my husband
Military families need real, physical help
One Year
Respite care for exceptional family members
Saying Good-bye
Spouses need to hear "Thank you" too!
Surrendering my husband
Unfortunate event - Church support

Military Life:
Reflections
Deployment
Military Life
Copyright Benita Koeman 2008 - 2010
Community support
We had been married for 6 weeks when Iraq invaded Kuwait.  My husband deployed to Operation Desert Shield/Storm with a month.  The wait that followed was lonely, scary and tough.  I all but quit going to church.  It was so painful; I’d stand and weep though the singing, and sit and weep through the sermon.  I was clinging to the Lord, and doing a lot of praying, but participating in public worship was excruciating.  I tried attending a couples Sunday school class, but one visit was all I could muster. No one seemed to notice.

When children came along, I became a stay-at-home Mom, and was introduced to PWOC by another Army Band spouse.  Our adventures include living in Korea and Germany, punctuated with tours in some of the most beautiful places in America. 

My 6-year sojourn in Germany included my husband's deployment to Iraq with 1st AD.   There I discovered that deployment survival was easier for her in the overseas location, because of the intense community support that she had not experienced back home in America.  Everyone was in the same boat – so we ministered to each other.  We opened our doors and lived like hippies in a commune.  We traded off cooking balanced meals and caring for one-another’s children.  We cleaned each other’s homes when husbands were expected back for R&R or redeployment.  We all missed our husbands and worried for their safety, but we were never alone.  It made everything so much easier, and when our spouses came home we all had good stories to tell.
Submitted by Malinda S.
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