Marriage & Family
Military Life
Military Marriage
Advice, Resources & Retreats
Looking for ways to get maintain a level of depth in your marriage while your spouse is deployed? Here are ideas, reflections and encouragement from other military spouses.
There are also other books and websites with ideas and suggestions to stay connected, to include Long Distance Couples: An activities handbook for strengthening long distance relationships.
Dependence on God
"It's a time for us to grow deeper in the Lord, and more dependent on him as our provider and sustainer."
Devotional
"Read the same devotional at the same time - Two suggested devotionals are 365 Daily Readings: A Year of Devotional Readings To Help You Abide in Him by John Eldredge or Experiencing God Day by Day by Henry Blackaby and Richard Blackaby."
Robin S.
"We read one proverb a day for a month from the book of Proverbs in the Bible."
"Cards, boxes, letters, phone calls, Skype, do the same devotional and/or Bible reading daily. You may not be doing it together but you're both reading the same thing! I believe a deployment is super hard but can strengthen your relationship and faith!"
Elizabeth M.
Flowers
"My husband ordered flowers to be delivered on a monthly basis before he deployed and handwrote note cards to accompany them when they were delivered."
"My husband would send a rose for each month deployed (month 1 - one rose, month 2 - two roses) - would have a dozen roses on the final month."
Gift Cards
"My husband hid gift cards throughout the house and when I was having a really hard time he'd tell me to go look in a particular book or some other location and I'd find a gift card...a little something to cheer me up when he couldn't be there."
Jodi
Journal/Pictures
"I keep a daily journal of both my heart and our day to day where I also paste photos of our son. I mail it to him once a month"
Amy B.
Learn Your Spouse's Love Language
Go to this website for a free, 30 second assessment of your love language. Find out what your spouse's love language is and get creative in trying to apply what you learn during the deployment. (more about the Five Love Languages)
Pictures/Scrapbooking
"Scrapbook the year - have pictures of "a day in the life of" and send to deployed spouse"
Stephanie R.
"I invested in a photo printer and photo paper and just printed a bunch of candids of the kids and I periodically and sent them off in every card or package, and Joe wallpapered his room with them. The other thing he loved was the digital frame I sent him - you can also get digital photo keychains...just send extra batteries!!"
Kristen H.
Prayer
"Don't underestimate the power of prayer in your marriage"
"Prayer, and lots of it! Saying I love you. Planning for the future. And phone calls. We kept God first and He grew our love."
Recorded Messages, Instant Messaging, Fantasies
"We bought two of those hand held tape recorders and would record messages and mail them back and forth. It was a great way to hear each other's voice. We were blessed and able to IM just about daily, the last half of his deployment. He'd send "care packages" home with things for us, rolls of film to develop, wrappers from packages that had Arabic writing. Stories he wrote for the kids and pictures he drew. And yes we even spoke of the intimate parts of marriage. Hey, we're married! As the return got closer we shared our fantasies of what the return would be like (I'd see him come off the plane and he'd come give me a big hug) how the kids would be, etc. And when he came off that plane, he broke out of line, ran over to me and gave me a big hug before rejoining the line. later, i told him how great that made me feel, (forgetting what I'd told him) and with a confused look, he said..."but that's what you said you wanted."
Michelle H.
Sharing Struggles
"Consider not withholding all the problems/struggles you're going through - just share it with a proper tone or with the solution to how you're handling it so it doesn't burden the deployed spouse. (Withholding everything for a year may have it's own issues)"
Debra W.
Take Notes
"Write down what he talked about so you're prepared for the next conversation"
Stephanie R.
Writing
"Write husband every day, using your letters to reminisce about your dating, engagement, wedding, etc."
Stephanie R.
"Silly cards helped Susan and I when I was deployed. Not to mention how you use your moralecalls. We made those phone calls fun and used emails to discuss issues."
Rick E.
"I wrote to Jeremy every day...some times they were about absolutely nothing but those are the things he likes to read...it's the little things...we also used Skype as often as we could. And PRAYER PRAYER PRAYER!"
Lorrie L.
Staying Connected with the Deployed Spouse
Family Life's Weekend to Remember Conference
Every couple drives away with a roadmap to a great marriage. If your marriage has been struggling lately, it’s easy to forget
what a good relationship feels like. Our speakers will show you exactly how to pursue a marriage that really works by using their own personal stories of success and failure and God’s Word to restore hope.
- In just one weekend, you will discover:
- God’s purpose for bringing you together
- Your distinctive roles as husband and wife
- How to resolve conflict and fight fair
- Secrets to putting sizzle in your sex life
For more than 30 years, we’ve helped people reach a turning point in their marriages. More than a million couples who wanted to take their marriages from fine to fantastic have come to us to help make it happen.
Click here for information regarding a special military rate.
I Promise Marriage Seminar
Benefits:
- Core promises to increase marriage security and satisfaction
- Why marital trials and irritations are the secret to intimacy
- 6 levels of communication (most only get to the 2nd and 3rd level)
- Help your spouse win every argument...while you win
- Powerful ways to improve your relationship with God as a couple
Click here for dates and locations.
Love and Respect
In 1999, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs launched his ground breaking Love and Respect ministry. Through his teaching, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah reveal that love and respect plays a role in every relationship. Happiness and success in marriage are not based on love alone. Many husbands feel they are not receiving the respect they need, and wives feel they are unloved. Too often, good willed couples get caught in what he calls The Crazy Cycle....
"Wives don't feel love from their husbands so they react with disrespect, husbands feel disrespected and respond in unloving ways..."
Eggerichs helps couples restore their marriages by teaching wives how to recieve love by showing their husbands respect and showing husbands how to gain respect by giving their wives love.
During this two day live event, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah help explain three basic principles:
- The Crazy Cycle: Why two couples negatively react to one another.
- The Energizing Cycle: Why two couples negatively react to one another.
- The Rewarded Cycle: What a person can do if personal expectations are unmet by a spouse.
The Eggerichs speak all over the country. Check here to see if they are coming to a city near you, your friends, or family!
Military Marriage Conference (DVD)
This four-part video series, a companion to the book 6 Secrets to a Lasting Love is designed to encourage, teach, and strengthen military marriages. Through fun and entertaining stories, thought provoking principles, times of personal reflection and sharing with your spouse, you will experience:
- Forgiving love, which offers a fresh start after you have hurt each other;
- Serving love, which helps you meet each other's deepest needs;
- Persevering love, which sustains you through the inevitable storms of life;
- Guarding love, which protects your hearts from threats to your marriage;
- Celebrating love, which helps you maintain physical and spiritual connection;
- Renewing love, which sustains your lifelong commitment to your vows.
This series is comprised of four sessions that are approximately one hour each and are ideal for couples or small groups. The series can even be adapted for marriage retreasts or for use by each spouse separately during deployment of one overseas.
Oxygen Marriage Seminar (Operation Military Family)
FIND OXYGEN FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS - Our commitment is to pump oxygen into your relationships through 3 key principles and provide the tools, steps, and resources to reach these goals:
1. Create and implement an ACTION PLAN for your relationships.
2. Design a SUPPORT SYSTEM to build on your successes and get you through the tough times.
3. Learn how to PAY FORWARD what you have learned to help others.
Here's a Small Sample of What You'll Learn:
- Learn the differences between men and women and how you can meet your partners emotional needs
- How to get out of the cycle of reacting to problems, conflicts and situations, and move towards acting proactively. We will help guide you through these critical steps to bettering your relationship
- Find out about 7 steps that will lead to incredible sex. Guaranteed to increase the romance in your relationship
- Find out secrets to saving your marriage if you and your spouse do not live together or are separated by military deployment
Spiritually Smart Family Conferences
Spiritually Smart Family Conferences are designed to provide families, couples, spouses, and single parents, tools and encouragement to cope with matters such as: loneliness, parenting, maintaining healthy marriages, conflict resolution, re-integration after deployment, and much more.
Participants will become better equipped to weather deployment separation while maintaining the home front, and couples will better reconnect following absences caused by deployments. Together, couples will navigate the extreme demands of family separation and will, like Timothy, become equipped to “look to the concerns of others.”
Spiritually smart families are those who conscientiously apply proven biblical principles to protect and sustain their families and marriages in difficult times.
Military deployments are at all all-time high, separating spouse from spouse and children from parents. As a result couples experience added stress on their marriage, and parenting becomes even more complex. Spiritually Smart Family Conferences help families apply biblical principles to protect, enhance, and sustain marriages and family relationships in turbulent times.
Offering Hope, Encouragement, & Solutions: Families, couples, or spouses attending a conference will learn to successfully apply Christ-centered tools to cope with matters such as:
•Military deployments
•Marital strain
•Stress and loneliness
•Maintaining strong and healthy family relationships in the face of duty
•Conflict resolution
•Staying close while apart
•Communication and parenting tips
•Re-integration following deployment
Strong Bonds for Couples (Army)
Whether you’ve celebrated one anniversary or 20, as an Army couple you can anticipate more excitement - and expect more challenges - than the average civilian couple. Long separations, frequent relocations, and the stress of deployment can subject Army marriages to extreme hardship.
That’s why we developed the Strong Bonds Couples program. It’s our way of saying thank you for the sacrifices you and your family make every day as members of the world’s premier fighting force. And, because we understand the stresses of military life, we want to serve you through an off‑post, Strong Bonds weekend retreat. You and others from your unit will gain skills that fortify your marriage, and enjoy a time of relaxation, recreation, fellowship, and fun.
Strong Bonds programs are offered by Army Chaplains with the full support of your Commanding Officer. You’ll gain practical, useful information based on world‑class curriculum developed from years of research. In small groups, you’ll participate in activities that renew bonds with your peers. And, as a couple, you’ll practice communication and relationship‑building skills, as well as share intimate moments.
The Strong Bonds Couples weekend retreat is designed to strengthen relationships, inspire hope and rekindle marriages - even start the journey of healing for relationships under fire.
The Gottman Institute - The Art of Science and Love (dvd or vhs)
Thousands of couples have attended the Gottmans' highly acclaimed workshop, The Art & Science of Love, offered five times each year in Seattle. Now, in the privacy of your home, and at your own pace, you can experience a personal workshop with Drs. John and Julie Gottman.
The Marriage You've Always Wanted Conference - Dr. Gary Chapman
Led by Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the best-selling Five Love Languages, this conference is not a dry, formal, marriage seminar—it’s a time of fun and discovery that can help you build the love relationship of your dreams. Whether you’re getting married in six months—or have been married 60 years—you’ll get solutions you can use. With biblical advice and a healthy dose of laughter, Dr. Chapman gives valuable tips on breaking unhealthy patterns and choosing to develop a God-honoring, happy marriage.
Couples both married and engaged will benefit from practical sessions addressing topics like communication differences, dealing with criticism, understanding love languages, and making sex mutually fulfilling. Join us for a day that will be a highlight for your marriage.
Wisconsin - Think Marriage
Has a listing of classes and marriage seminars in Wisconsin.
Marriage Retreats/Conferences
I hope that as you read these stories you will be encouraged and find hope for your marriage. Here are three other great websites that offer stories of hope and encouragement:
Faith Deployed has a growing number of articles relating to military marriages, some relating to deployment, PTSD, guarding your heart, and more.
Sara Horn also has insightful articles relating to military marriage including Taking the Me out of We and Keeping a Strong Marriage.
Wives of Faith also has articles, devotionals and entries relating to military marriage. Includes Marriage Conversation Starters (August 14, 2007 entry) and Conversation Starters (September 21, 2009 entry).
Deployment - "Wanting the truth...no more lies"
As I sit here to write about our deployment experience, I am amazed at how wonderful God really is. Erik was at the Sergeant’s Major Academy when he expressed an interest to volunteer for a deployment. I was not really crazy about the idea so I wanted to find out what he was thinking. We had a deep discussion and were able to work out our concerns. I told him if the opportunity was there, I would not stop him from taking it. Well God really worked things out in many ways when I reflect back on the events.
I have to admit I was not thrilled while going through the trial. Erik ended up deploying with a unit out of Hawaii. He left in May, shortly after we arrived at Fort Knox. It was a blessing to have him available to help move the big items in – the boxes were left to the kids and I. He arrived in Hawaii to find out they were not leaving for Kuwait until August. The 12-month deployment then turned into a 15-month deployment. We would talk just about every night and I thought all was well.
Then I discovered a phone number on his cell bill that I did not recognize. The Holy Spirit prompted me to check it out and sure enough, the number was someone he was supposed to have stopped talking to. I felt the relationship he had was inappropriate and had told him to stop talking. I was mad but glad that he was not physically with me to discuss it. Crying I typed an email wanting the truth – no more lies. Waiting for the phone call from Kuwait was hard and the first few conversations were even harder. God knows what He is doing and I know was with me through it all.
I do not like confronting people but I discovered that that has been a problem in our marriage. The Bible is right when it says, “the truth shall set you free”. After putting fear aside, we were able to discuss the “root” of our problem. Roots go very deep and our roots stemmed from our childhood. We were making great progress and then it was time for him to come home for R&R. I was not excited to see him after the pain and distrust. His plane arrived later than scheduled by a few hours but I think it was a good thing. We did not say much on the ride home. Once we were able to talk openly with each other, I felt much better. We saw a Chaplain a couple times to make sure we were on the right track and we purchased some study materials from a seminar we had gone through several times before. We knew this just was not Erik’s problem – it was our problem and we would have to both work on changing.
While what we went through was not pleasant, God worked out the circumstances for our good. I have become a stronger person having to confront my husband asking for the truth. Our relationship is stronger and we communicate more often and more effectively than we did before. Erik’s time away from us in harms way allowed him to reflect on what the kids and I really meant to him. We have forgiven each other and God has restored Erik. God really did an amazing work in Erik and I think if we had been together, that may not have happened. God knew to work on our marriage we would have to be separate for a time. I was able to work on changing me and he was able to work on changing him. He ended up serving 13 ½ months in Kuwait and came home just after the New Year (20 months away from home). The kids and I were able to take the Christmas break to fly to Hawaii and bring him home. The army was gracious enough to put Erik on our flight home with us.
Whatever trial you may be facing, know that God will see you through when you seek Him. My relationship with God has deepened and strengthened along with my husbands. We have discovered that as long as we put God first, our marriage is safe. We are quicker in recognizing the warning signs of “potential trouble” before it goes too far now. Satan had used “fear” in the past in our marriage to keep us from telling each other how we really felt about an issue. Now that “fear” is gone and we are able to discuss any topic in love. We are happier now and look forward to helping other couples. God allows us to go through trials in our lifetime to help others in need – sometimes they are extremely hard but God always manages to turn a bad situation into something good.
Lisa S.
Feed the Passion - Cultivating the Smart Military Marriages
“Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die” is a refrain in an old gospel song. Reworked into marriage language, one could say, “Everybody wants a great marriage, but few want to put in the time and energy required for greatness.”
If we were to place ten random couples in a line-up and assign a different one-to-five word description to each marriage, what would the phrases read?
- Closed for lack of interest
- Moderately Satisfying
- No Way to Go But Up
- Looking for Greener Grass
- No Comment
Would the following descriptors fit your marriage?
- Fanning the Flames with Hope
- Captured and Captivated
- Going the Distance Victoriously
- Stuck and Happy or (Getting This Right)
- Thriving not just Surviving
The distance between the first set of marriage descriptors and the second set is large enough to engulf the millions of failed and failing marriages. Spiritually Smart Families want to narrow the gulf for military couples. Spiritually Smart Spouses and Spiritually Smart Couples conferences and retreats emphasize three essentials to combating the pressure placed on military marriages.
Stay Alert. Fatigue and inattention are predators to marriages that want to go the distance victoriously. “I will stand at my watch post and station myself on the rampart,” says the prophet Habakkuk. “I will keep watch to see what he will say to me.” Spiritually smart military men and women keep the main things central in their thoughts and actions. They guard against seemingly small things (little sleep, poor eating habits, lack of physical exercise) and against the giants (complacency, low expectations, and marginal marriage field surveillance). The slump of taking each other for granted, lack of courtesy and generosity, and pushing each other’s buttons is not good practice for smart couples who know what they want. Beat the slump by going before the Lord daily and by listening to what he will speak concerning your marriage. This idea of being on alert is not new to our service families, but we haven’t been challenged to see our marriages and families as the encampment that must be guarded and protected even if it requires that we lay down our lives.
Stay Engaged. In a society that esteems multi-tasking to the exclusion of excellence and passion, it is important for military couples to keep a tight focus on their mission. When our teenagers would say, “Why do you always side with dad (mom)?” Our response would be that we would still be together long after they had left home and were starting their own families. Our priority was each other. Our desire was to have interests and passion in common, so we kept pace with each other intellectually, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Study your partner again the way you did at the start. What are his or her likes, dislikes, passions, fears, happiest moments and more? When deployment or other separations occur, be aware of pitfalls and temptations. Devise a plan to protect his or her heart while apart. A talented few can do numerous tasks with excellence, but if you can’t, then discuss ways to focus on the key aspects of your military marriage and pour yourself into doing them well.
Cultivate the Hunger. As a military member or spouse, what do you hunger for? Will what you hunger for bring you and your spouse through the next deployment? Will what you hunger for bring you elusive peace? How do you desire to respond to daily trials - the unexpected events that pelt us like beads of hail slamming a car’s windshield?
It has been said that most of what we worry about never occurs. Would it not be great to forego anxiety over the unknown and to have comfort and peace regardless of events? Life is full of unwanted events. Our military members and families daily face uncertainties – the uncertainties of yet another deployment, the consequences of a spouse or loved one not returning from deployment or returning maimed.
Consider this antidote for fear of the unknown: Plan for victory over every foe and in every situation. Someone has queried, “What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?” Get hungry for success in marriage. Start to articulate your desire for your marriage to be mutually satisfying and beneficial to all who witness it. Begin to consider what would happen if you pulled out all the stops and really gave yourself to your spouse – not holding back due to fears, inadequacies, past failures, big challenges of today, or concern for what others say. “Therefore, my beloved, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor is not in vain.” Paul challenged the Corinthians to leave everything on the field as they worked to honor the Lord. Likewise, our call is to hold nothing back in pursuit of great marriages.
For practical steps to develop your own spiritually smart family, plan to host or attend a Spiritually Smart Spouses or Spiritually Smart Couples conference at your installation or church. A Spiritually Smart Family conference distinctive is its emphasis on deployment issues from a spiritual perspective with personal and marital transformation as the end goal. These conferences and retreats complement the Services’ offerings to help units fully prepare for deployment and reintegration.
To schedule a Spouses Only or Couples’ conference, check us out at www.ocfusa.org, e-mail us at ocfoutreach@comcast.net.
Colonel Larry (and Bobbie) Simpson, USAF (Ret) is the Family Outreach and Puget Sound Field Representative for Officers’ Christian Fellowship (OCF). He and his wife are part of the speaking/facilitation team for Spiritually Smart Family (SSF) Conferences. They and their speaking teams are available to present SSF conferences at military installations and churches worldwide.
Bobbie Simpson
Used with permission from Command Magazine, January 2009
How we saved/strengthened our marriage:
- Commitment: making a decision to not quit no matter how hard it seems
- Attend a strong bonds event: if your chaplain isn't offering them then bug the H.E.** out of him and command to do it! I've learned skills and encouragement through these events that ... Read Morereally work (so much so, that I became an instructor!)
- Read Love & Respect: "The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs
- Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Neither of you got married to make the other person miserable, nor do you wake thinking, "What can I do to really tick them off today?"
Michelle H.
Ten Ways to Help a Friend's Struggling Marriage:
It's common to know someone whose marriage is in trouble and to be unsure how to help. These 10 practical tips will help you get started helping others.
Wives in Prayer Group:
Wives in Prayer is a group similar to the group Mom’s In Touch that prays for children and schools, except our focus is specifically on our husbands. We praise God through scripture for a specific attribute each week. We pray scripture interceding for our husbands for a specific topic each week and then we open it up for specific prayer needs of our husbands.
Over the years I’ve led this group, I’ve seen marriages affected by adultery reunited and recommitted. I’ve seen men addicted to pornography win that battle. I’ve seen husbands that hated God find salvation and follow God’s call to pastor. I’ve witnessed many miracles from the obedience of prayer that this group inspires. For myself praying God’s word over my husband has transformed my heart and helped me to believe God is in control and to humble myself before him and allow him to take control. I can’t begin to describe the peace this has brought to my life. Seeing things through God’s eyes has demolished conflict in our marriage.
For more information regarding Wives in Prayer (including the founder's personal story) and to learn you you can start your own group, click here.
Wendy B.
Hope for your Marriage
Guarding Your Marriage - Books
Created to Be His Help Meet
Discover how God can make your marriage glorious Author: Debi Pearl, Copyright @ 2004
Somewhere over the passing years and changing culture, women have lost their way. This book is written to lead them back home. Regardless of how you began your marriage, or how dark and lonely the path that has brought you to where you are now, you should know that it is possible to have a marriage so good and so fulfilling that it can only be explained as a miracle. What God has done through this book is amazing. We are receiving thousands of letters and e-mails from people giving testimony to marriages restored and made new. Pastors, bookstores, and teachers are ordering and reordering cases. The book now has a new cover and contains a word index at the back of the book to aid you in topical searches.
Every Man's Battle
Winning the war on sexual temptation one victory at a time Authors: Steve Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, Copyright @ 2000
American men are in a tough position. We live in a country awash with sensual images available twenty-four hours a day on a variety of mediums: print, television, videos, internet. It is impossible to avoid such temptations, but thankfully, not impossible to rise above them. The process starts when men realize two things. First, they aren't alone. In fact, sixty-five percent of men at Promise Keepers indicated they have a problem with pornography. Second, there is help. Honest, real, life-changing help, written in a brother-to-brother style. A practical, detailed plan to help men find freedom from sexual temptation God's way. Includes a special section for women, designed to help them understand, empathize, and support the men they love. (Workbook also available)
Every Woman's Battle
Discovering God's plan for sexual and emotional fulfillment Author: Shannon Ethridge, Copyright @ 2003Your sexual needs are far different from your man's. And they may be more dangerous.
When does an affair begin? Not with the first forbidden touch...but with the first
forbidden thought. Unexpectedly, you find yourself enjoying a powerful emotional
bond with another man. You feel like you matter to someone again. And the door you
thought was locked so firmly--the door to sexual infidelity--is suddenly ajar.
The only way you as a woman can survive the intense struggle for sexual integrity is
by guarding not just your body, but your mind and heart as well. Every Woman's Battle
can help you learn to do that.
Using real-life stories and examples from her own struggle, Shannon Ethridge helps
women like you--whether married, engaged, or planning to marry someday--to:
- understand the four unique components of female sexuality
- discern the common myths that keep women standing in the line of fire
- design a new defense to protect every aspect of your life
- cultivate an unimaginable level of intimacy with your husband or husband-to-be
- develop an affair with the one and only Lover who will truly satisfy your innermost desires: Jesus Christ
The first step in winning the struggle for sexual integrity is to wake up to the battle raging in your heart and mind. Every Woman's Battle will help you take that step--and lead you on a lifelong path to true joy and fulfillment, sexually, emotionally, and spiritually. (Workbook also available)
Fighting for Your Marriage
Positive steps for preventing divorce and preserving a lasting love Authors: Howard J. Markman, Scott M. Stanley, Susan L. Blumberg, Copyright @ 2001
The guide that shows you how to fight for your marriage.
This new and revised edition of Fighting for Your Marriage is based on the widely acclaimed PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) approach. Ground-breaking studies have found that couples can use the strategies of this aproach to handle conflict more constructively, protect their happiness, and reduce the odds of breaking up. Based on twenty years of university research, this popular book will show you how to:
- Talk more and fight less
- Deepen and protect your friendship
- Have a more intimate, sensual relationship
- Keep the fun alive
- Clarify and act on your priorities
- Develop a vision for your future together
Fireproof (Movie):
Copyright @ 2008
Lt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter's adage: Never leave your partner behind. Inside burning buildings, it's his natural instinct. In the cooling embers of his marriage, it's another story. After a decade of marriage, Caleb and Catherine Holt have drifted so far apart that they are ready to move on without each other. Yet as they prepare to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb's dad asks his son to try an experiment: The Love Dare. While hoping The Love Dare has nothing to do with his parents' newfound faith, Caleb commits to the challenge. But can he attempt to love his wife while avoiding God's love for him? Will he be able to demonstrate love over and over again to a person that's no longer receptive to his love? Or is this just another marriage destined to go up in smoke?
God + Military Spouse:
United our families will standAuthor: Kathleen Cline, Copyright @ 2008
When the Iraq war first broke out there was ramped support for the military but as time went on personal support dwindled. Yet given the extended tour of duty, support became increasingly necessary to help women and their children get through long deployments and absences of husbands and fathers. As the wife of a Navy man, Kathleen Cline discovered that while there are many helpful books for women, there were none specifically for military wives and the particular challenges they face. During her overseas tour she also learned the importance of the Naval Chapel and the support it gives to military families. At the last three duty stations she volunteered at the Naval Chapel, teaching children church, leading womans Bible study and helping to organize VBS. Now, due to the war, the Naval Chapels focus must be on the active duty member which has left a gap of Biblical education for the family members. God + Military Spouse is the result of this need, and Kathleen Cline is qualified to offer it. From predeployment anxiety, to loneliness, depression and even temptation, God + Military Spouse is the support group manual for military wives and study groups who are serious about preserving the treasure of marriage and family.
Keys to Communication (laminated card) Author: Bea Fishback
Author: Bea FishbackKeys to Communication Card is written especially for couples in the military. Learn how the Skeleton, Front Door, and Master keys will allow you to keep the doors of communication open between you and your spouse
Love and Respect
The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs Author: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, Copyright @ 2004
A Marriage Book with a Difference!
A Revolutionary Message: "I've been married 35 years and have not heard this taught." "This is the key that I have been missing." "A lightbulb moment." "You connected all the dots for me." "As a counselor, I have never been so excited about any material." "You're on to something huge here."
A Simple Message: A wife has one driving need -- to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need -- to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn't met, things get crazy. "Love and Respect" reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.
A Message That Works: Based on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have already taken the "Love and Respect" message across America and are changing the way couples talk to, think about, and treat each other.
What do you want for your marriage? Want some peace? Want to feel close? Want to feel valued? Want to experience marriage the way God intended? Then why not try some "Love and Respect."
On the Frontline
A Personal Guidebook for the Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Challenges of Military Life Author: Tom Neven, Copyright @ 2006
The struggles and temptations our service men and women encounter are unique and beyond what civilians might ever face. Written from someone who's been there, this book addresses head-on the issues prevalent in military life: loneliness, fidelity, debt, fear and much more. It's a must-read handbook with uncompromising biblical guidance that will encourage and inspire both men and women in military service.
Operation Military Family
How to strengthen your military marriage and save your family Author: Michael J.R. Schindler, Copyright @ 2007Our children's well-being depends on it. Our military is fighting to preserve it. Our nation's strength is a result of it. What is it? A successful marriage.
Operation Military Family offers a unique look at how military couples strengthen their marriages despite the challenges brought on by unexpected or extended deployments. This book offers the "how-to's" on:
- Establishing a pre- and post-deployment plan
- Discovering the vision for your marriage
- Relating to your spouse in spite of circumstances
- Tapping powerful resources at little to no out-of-pocket cost
Now is the time to invest heavily in your greatest asset: your marriage.
The Enticement of the Forbidden
Protecting your marriage Author: Judy Starr, Copyright @ 2004Broken vows and shattered relationships: It’s epidemic. Yet few believe they’ll ever become involved in an affair. But in a world obsessed with sex, the spiritual and physical integrity required to maintain New Testament moral purity requires uncommon intimacy with God. Here those seeking to avoid becoming the next painful statistic will find genuine help.
- Discover God’s ideal for intimacy
- Form and sustain the bond of love
- Affair-proof your mind and heart
Enticement of the Forbidden tackles infidelity—head on. Sharing honestly from her personal experience, Judy Starr brings hope to those who have slipped. For all women seeking purity of heart, mind and soul she reveals the secret to sustained purity through the power of God. Everyone who discovers this power source will cherish an abundant harvest of fruit growing from…
- Confronting temptation
- Maintaining spiritual intimacy
- Protecting moral purity God’s way
- Guarding the mind from crossing that invisible line
The Five Love Languages
How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate Author: Gary Chapman, Copyright @ 1995Are you and your spouse speaking the same language? People express and receive love in different ways. Dr. Gary Chapman identifies these as the five languages of love: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, physical touch. If you express love in a way your spouse doesn't understand, he or she won't realize you've expressed your love at all. The problem is that you're speaking two different languages. Perhaps your husband needs to hear encouraging words, but you feel cooking a nice dinner will cheer him up. When he still feels down, you're puzzled. Or, maybe your wife craves time with you--time away from the kids and television. The flowers that you gave her just don't communicate that you care.
In this new edition of The Five Love Languages, you will find a couples guide to help you work as a team. Before you know it, you'll learn to speak and understand the unique languages of love and effectively express your love as well as feel truly loved in return.
The Love Dare
Authors: Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick , Copyright @ 2008
Too many marriages end when someone says "I've fallen out of love with you" or "I don't love you anymore." The Love Dare discusses how these statements reveal a lack of understanding about the fundamental nature of true love.
As featured in the popular new movie Fireproof, The Love Dare is a 40-day guided devotional experience that will lead your heart back to truly loving your spouse while learning more about the design, nature, and source of true love. Each reading includes Scripture, a statement of principle, the day's "dare," and a journaling area and check box to chart progress.
Dare to take The Love Dare, and see your marriage change forever. Click here for the The 40 Days of Deployment Dare from www.ExcellentOrPraiseworthy.org.
The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military
Author: Gene Thomas Gomulka, Copyright @ 2007
The revised edition of The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military for dating, engaged and married military couples is an interactive work that helps couples assess their strengths and weaknesses in nine critical areas (Communication, Conflict Resolution, Finances, Sexuality, etc.). Once partners have each completed a detachable inventory, counseling insights found in the book aid couples in their discussion of certain potentially problematic statements identified in the self-grading process. The "counseling insights," based on years of counseling experience and input provided by hundreds of military couples, counselors and chaplains, are similar to the type of guidance offered to couples by counseling professionals. Reviews and couple feedback demonstrate why it is, without a doubt, the best book on the market today for dating, engaged and married personnel. Couples reunited after deployments, particularly to countries like Iraq and Afghanistan, have found it particularly beneficial in their relationships. An indispensable tool for both military couples and professionals, the book aims to reduce high divorce rates, promote deeper emotional and sexual intimacy, and enhance a couple's chances for a long-lasting and happy marriage despite the challenges of life in the armed services.
The Treasure of Staying Connected for Military Couples
Author: Janel Lange, Copyright @ 2004
This book is a lifeline for couples stressed by military life, especially the lengthy separations. Short "real life" stories of couples growing through the tough times are expanded by comments from the author, a Navy wife of 25 years, who also has 25 years experience in presenting marriage enrichment programs.
Military Marriage Bible Studies
Defending the Military Marriage
Homebuilders Couples Authors: Jim Fishback and Bea Fishback, Copyright @ 2004Lt. Col. Jim Fishback and wife Bea discuss Defending the Military Marriage. A small group study designed to help military couples build a solid marriage. Covers items such as communicating, basic training, sexual accountability and love.
God + Military Spouse:
United our families will standAuthor: Kathleen Cline, Copyright @ 2008
When the Iraq war first broke out there was ramped support for the military but as time went on personal support dwindled. Yet given the extended tour of duty, support became increasingly necessary to help women and their children get through long deployments and absences of husbands and fathers. As the wife of a Navy man, Kathleen Cline discovered that while there are many helpful books for women, there were none specifically for military wives and the particular challenges they face. During her overseas tour she also learned the importance of the Naval Chapel and the support it gives to military families. At the last three duty stations she volunteered at the Naval Chapel, teaching children church, leading womans Bible study and helping to organize VBS. Now, due to the war, the Naval Chapels focus must be on the active duty member which has left a gap of Biblical education for the family members. God + Military Spouse is the result of this need, and Kathleen Cline is qualified to offer it. From predeployment anxiety, to loneliness, depression and even temptation, God + Military Spouse is the support group manual for military wives and study groups who are serious about preserving the treasure of marriage and family.
Loving Your Military ManAuthor: Bea Fishback, Copyright @ 2007
Author: Bea Fishback, Copyright @ 2007A small-group study designed to help military wives love their husbands.
From her first day in Seoul, Korea, author Bea Fishback quickly discovered the fairy tale marriage she expected was indeed just a fairy tale. Her Prince Charming, an Army officer, would regularly disappear for field maneuvers and TDYs. As a result of this and other pressures, they found themselves approaching a marital impasse and ultimately isolation.
Bea began to overcome this isolation by applying the advice Paul gives in Philippians 4:8 to focus on whatever is true, honorable, righteous, lovely, of good repute, excellent, and worthy of praise. In this ten-part study, she encourages military wives to love their husbands in this way. Bea shows how to help build lifelong marriages that leave strong, stable legacies for their children and grandchildren.
Making Your Marriage Deployment Ready
Homebuilders Couples Authors: Mike and Linda Montgomery and Keith and Sharon Morgan
Copyright @ 2008
Divorce rates among military families are at epidemic proportions with repeated deployments and the normal challenges of military life taking their toll. The most vulnerable victims of family stress are military children. Many of the solutions to family unity are spiritual in nature. Making Your Marriage Deployment Ready is an important part of a ministry to establish Hope on the Home Front and give families the faith and knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Making Your Marriage Deployment Ready uses time tested marriage principles and prepares military couples with the necessary tools to counter deployment challenges and bring hope and victory to active duty, Guard and Reserve families. It is the definitive small group Bible study for preparing a couple to live victoriously despite the stresses of deployments and today’s demanding military lifestyle.
Other Resources
A & E Family Publishers - Resources to strengthen long-distance marriages and families
At A&E Family Publishers we want to help strengthen marriages and families. We have created numerous products and services that can help you strengthen your marriage and family. Please check the links on our site for products and services that can strengthen your marriage and family.
Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg - Your marriage coaches
24 hour coaching line, submit a prayer request, e-mail a question or comment for the radio program. XM Radio, Northwestern and Houston radio listeners can hear Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg everyday by subscribing to the daily radio podcast.
The Rosberg Marital Assessment Program
- The first step in living The Great Marriage Experience is for you and your spouse to answer this question, “Where are we in our marriage relationship?” Dr. Gary & Barb Rosberg have created an assessment that will in a step-by-step format, ask you questions to gauge where you are. After completing the assessment, you can begin your life-long journey to obtain a marriage that is real and one that will last....click here for details.
Military couples receive:
- A free membership to The Great Marriage Experience
- Mp3 players with pre-loaded marriage strengthening messages
- Date with a Purpose subscriptions sent to military chaplains to be distributed to all of their married couples
- DVD series of a military marriage conference
- And more...click here for details
Faith and Marriage Ministries - Providing encouragement and support for marriage restoration
Faith And Marriage Ministries provides encouragement and support when standing for marriage restoration, even if you’re divorced and the only one who wants to save your marriage. Through the love, power and grace of Jesus Christ, marriage restoration is possible, even after years of separation and divorce, as proven by our Restored Marriage Testimonies!
This site has a wealth of marriage restoration resources to include: marriage restoration prayers, marriage restoration Bible verses, fire proof your marriage, marriage support groups, restored marriage testimonies, and much more.
Family Life Today - Marriage, parenting resources
Resources include marriage and parenting resources, a Momblog, radio broadcast, daily devotionals, spiritual growth resources, military marriage, etc.
Five Love Languages - Dr. Gary Chapman
The leading author in biblical marriage counseling speaks love in your language. With over thirty years of experience in marriage counseling, Dr. Gary Chapman has worked closely with thousands of couples struggling with countless issues. But at the heart of every marriage he has encountered–including his own–rests the same core longing: all people need to feel loved. Learn your love language in 30 seconds! Take a personal profile assessment in 10-15 minutes!
Focus on the Family - Military Marriage articles, Christian marriage resources, post a marriage question, etc.
Has a Marriage/Relationships section with topics that include: God's design for marriage, preparing for marriage, the early years, sex and intimacy, divorce and infidelity, communication and conflict, money and finances, daily living, strengthening your marriage, marriage challenges, facing crisis, marriage and the military.
Marriage Community - Post a marriage question and get an EXPERT response.
Military Marriage Articles - Articles are covered under three categories: Coping with Deployment, Post-Deployment: The Short- Term Reality and Post-Deployment: The Long-Term Reality.
40 Days of the Deployment Dare - Grow together while duty calls you apart!
Have you had the thought, “What good is it to do The Love Dare book when we’re so far apart during this deployment?” We read the book with just that question in mind and offer these daily ideas to complement what the authors, the Kendrick brothers, have written so well. If you and your spouse are separated by deployment, but want to grow closer to each other and deal with the challenges of marriage, add these comments each day to what the authors have “dared.”
Actually—in some ways—The Love Dare is easier to do while separated! Don’t let Satan deceive you into thinking that it is not possible to grow together when duty calls you apart!
Inverse Ministries - Reconciling marriages in crisis
The reconciliation of our marriage after an eleven-year divorce and a distance of over 3,000 coast-to-coast miles is nothing short of a modern-day miracle. Each year, we embark on several 40-Day Marriage Ministry Mission Trips across the United States to minister to couples through churches and other ministry organizations. Through the work of Inverse Ministries, we share their testimony of reconciliation and have written several publications to challenge believers to be reconciled to God, then to one another. We currently serve as leaders for The Association of Marriage and Family's (AMFM) Reconciling Troubled Marriages Ministry Team as well as being an active part of the Ask the ExpertsPanel of Christianity Today's BuildingChurchLeaders.com.
Marriage Team - Empowering couples for winning marriages
MarriageTeam improves marriages and reduces divorce by delivering couple coaching services. It also works with non-profits to provide effective marriage coaching and educates couples through marriage building seminars. We do this by:
- Providing a marriage coaching service with trained couple coaches
- Helping communities establish effective coaching programs
- Training coach couples
- Leading marriage building seminars
Marriage Vine - Helping marriages remain in The Vine
Our passion is to help marriages grow and thrive by consistently remaining in The Vine. Our mission is to provide tools and resources to help disciple married individuals into a growing and thriving relationship with God and each other so that they might in turn effectively display the love of God to the nations.
Our Methods:
- Daily Marriage Focus Emails to over 23,000 subscribers
- Marriage conferences and date events
- Community Date Nights
- Publishing resources
- Web content
- MarriageVine Book Club
- Marriage Resource Provision
- Professional Marriage and Family Counseling (coming soon)
Web site also includes Marriage 411 -- Our passion is to help your marriage grow! Whether you’re in a crisis or just have a looming question, we’d like to help. We’ve assembled hundreds of videos, articles and answers to past questions in order to help you – and we’re always adding more! Simply enter your question or phrase in the search box, and let us find resources to help you.
Military Ministry - Marriage Commitment Coin
Create a unique symbol of your marriage when you deploy.
This 1-3/4-inch coin consists of two parts which fit together to complete the design—symbolizing the completion that takes place between a husband and wife in marriage. When separated by deployment, each spouse can carry one part of the coin. At the end of the deployment, put your coin back together, symbolizing your reintegration. The smooth back of the coin can be engraved. Coin comes in a black velvet case with an attractive 8×10 Commitment Certificate, suitable for framing.
Military One Source - Resources
How to Deal with When a Relationship Hits the Skids? - If you’re going through a breakup or your relationship is in trouble, the world can seem out of control. When you’re in the military, you face the extra challenges of staying ready for duty while you deal with what’s going on in your life. Don’t tough it out alone. Talk about it. With others in your unit, with trusted friends. With your medic, corpsman, chaplain, medical officer, or combat stress control unit.
Military OneSource consultants are ready to talk with you, too – 24/7. To help you through tough times. By phone or online. At no cost to you. Contact Military OneSource toll-free 1-800-342-9647, e-mail a consultant, or register online to chat via instant messaging.
Some other resources available include: articles, books, audio/video clips, cds and dvds to help strengthen your marriage.
Not Alone - Find other warriors and families experiencing life after war
Not Alone started in 2008 when a group of warriors and professionals discovered a significant gap in the government's capacity to help warriors and their families come home from war. There needed to be a confidential online community where those warriors could congregate to help each other. Our personal experiences with war trauma led us to reach out to those that need help.
Not Alone has formed partnerships with various organizations to create new ways across the nation to help those returning from war.
Not Alone draws on a unique group of individuals with personal experience in the Iraq and Afghanistan war. We have been in your shoes. We have struggled to regain our lives and to find the new normal at home. Professionals, warriors and experts have been vital in helping to bring the Not Alone vision into reality. We've been through the experience of war and returning home from war and hope that our persistence, experience and passion can help others in their journey as well. We understand. We get it.
Operation Honeymoon - An opportunity to reconnect, refresh and strengthen your marriage
Operation Honeymoon is committed to supporting military couples by providing opportunities to reconnect, refresh and strengthen their marriages through vow-renewal ceremonies, honeymoon cruises and marriage enrichment opportunities.
Operation Honeymoon sends military couples on a no cost six-day honeymoon cruise. Couples will be sent to San Diego, California for a vow-renewal ceremony then embark upon a six day cruise to Capo San Lucas and Ensenada. Marriage enrichment opportunities will be available from top marriage counselors for those couples wishing to attend.
Operation Honeymoon cruises are planned for June 2009 and December 2009.
Operation Military Family - Support network, action plan, resources, book
It started as an idea. As a veteran who traveled many parts of the world, Mike Schindler knew the complexities and adventures surrounding deployments. When his best friend was deployed to Afghanistan, Mike captured his experiences by compiling his friend’s notes, emails, pictures and instant messages in order to put them in a keepsake for his best friend's son (Mike's godson).
Like many ideas, it grew into more than a keepsake. Mike went on to interview numerous military couples, marriage experts, chaplains, and support organizations in an effort to uncover what keeps military couples together. Thus was born the book "Operation Military Family" that later became endorsed by leading marriage experts and former Commander in Chief, US Central Command General Tommy Franks.
The book was only the beginning. Couples wanted not only a road map but a peer to peer, mentoring type program. So Mike, along with his wife, Keri, founded the organization Operation Military Family, and set out to develop a mentoring program that would move beyond the classroom and into the community.
Teamwork often makes a dream work with collaboration being the key. Mike teamed up with Jeff Kemp, who is the eldest son of the honorable Jack Kemp and the president of Stronger Families to ensure this dream became a reality. Stronger Families, formerly Families NW, has been a leader in the marriage movement for over 15 years, having been recognized for dropping divorce rates, helping establish community marriage initiatives, and rallying communities around strengthening relationships.
Now a division of Stronger Families, Operation Military Family delivers "Oxygen for Your Relationship" workshops and seminars to military service members and family members with the help and expertise of the staff at Stronger Families.
With an idea that became reality and is destined to serve hundreds of thousands, we are here to serve our military families.
Other Marriage Websites
Here are some healthy relationship sites that you will find valuable, followed by sites existing in the United States, state by state. Courtesy of thinkmarriage.org.
Operation R&R - Reconnect after deployment on Hilton Head Island at little or no cost
Operation R&R is a non-profit organization designed to provide our service men and women an opportunity to reconnect with their spouses and children upon their return from Iraq or Afghanistan. Property owners, represented by many property management companies, are donating their homes and villas on Hilton Head Island, SC for this purpose. All of this is to ensure that our military families have a chance to spend some time away from their everyday lives to strengthen relationships that have been strained due to long separations and extreme circumstances.
Promisekeepers - Men transformed worldwide
Promise Keepers’ mission is to to ignite and unite men to become warriors who will change their world through living out the Seven Promises. Promise Keepers’ vision is simply put in three words: “Men Transformed Worldwide.”
- PROMISE 1: A Promise Keeper is committed to honoring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer and obedience to God's Word in the power of the Holy Spirit.
- PROMISE 2: A Promise Keeper is committed to pursuing vital relationships with a few other men, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises.
- PROMISE 3: A Promise Keeper is committed to practicing spiritual, moral, ethical, and sexual purity.
- PROMISE 4: A Promise Keeper is committed to building strong marriages and families through love, protection and biblical values.
- PROMISE 5: A Promise Keeper is committed to supporting the mission of his church by honoring and praying for his pastor, and by actively giving his time and resources.
- PROMISE 6: A Promise Keeper is committed to reaching beyond any racial and denominational barriers to demonstrate the power of biblical unity.
- PROMISE 7: A Promise Keeper is committed to influencing his world, being obedient to the Great Commandment (see Mark 12:30-31) and the Great Commission (see Matthew 28:19-20).
Pure Life Ministries - Overcoming addiction to pornography
Pure Life Ministries (PLM) exists to serve Christian individuals and organizations dealing with sexual sin throughout the world by providing biblically based counseling, teaching materials and a public speaking ministry with the goal of leading Christians to victory over sexual sin and into a deeper life in God.
Real Relationships - Transforming relationships to transform lives
This website has tons of relevant video clips from Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott who answer questions people have e-mailed in. Video topics include: children, communication, conflict resolution, divorce, faith, finance, health, in-laws, premarital, recreation, sex, and marriage mentoring.
7 Day Love Challenge - Find oxygen for your relationship
Each day a simple challenge will be given to you in hopes that you will take it on and see a new spark start within your marriage, or will continue to fan the flame that is already burning. The daily challenges are simple and the benefits undeniable.
The 7 day love challenge is renewing romance and bringing marriages into deeper intimacy than they have ever experienced before. Greg and Lisa White took on the challenge and have broken new ground in their marriage, deepening the intimacy that they share with one another. Even by day four, the Whites noticed an incredible difference...
Site includes free downloads 50 Ways to Love Your Spouse and 50 Valentine's Day Ideas.
Smart Marriages - The Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education
The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education is dedicated to making marriage education widely available –
to getting the information couples need to create successful marriages out of the research labs and and clinical offices and to the public. Our goal is to make the information user-friendly, affordable, and accessible.
We believe that people can "get smarter" about marriage and that when they know better, they will do better.
The Coalition serves:
- as a clearinghouse to help couples find marriage and relationship education information, classes, DVDs, and books ;
- to help marriage counselors, clergy, mentor couples, and lay educators find marriage education training programs
and/or TOOBs - teach-out-of-the-box programs;
- to connect those interested in the continuing development of the field;
- to support community marriage education initiatives, legislation, and research;
-and, to help the public understand that marriage education offers an effective and affordable solution to the epidemic of divorce and family breakdown - one that is ready NOW.
Some site resources include: Ask Dr. Romance, Free Stuff (includes 50 free or cheap Valentine's ideas, 50 ways to love your lover), cds, dvds
The Coalition is non-denominational, non-partisan, non-sectarian and is supported solely by the proceeds of the annual conference. Conference presenters volunteer their time and expertise.
The Gottman Institute - Researching and restoring relationships
The Gottman Institute provides practical, research-based skills to strengthen and repair marriages & relationships.
We offer Weekend Workshops for couples, Professional Training for therapists, and books, DVDs, and other products on Parenting and Relationships. Site includes a relationship quiz.
Think Marriage - Prepare...Protect...Pass it On
Whether you are a teen, single, or married...there is something for you at Think Marriage. We are not marriage counselors, but rather a resource for information and workshops on healthly relationships and marriage. Better relationships start here! Looking for great web resources and healthy marriage initiatives across the U.S.? Click here. Also has Marriage and Myth Buster Guides, Love Letter Kits and a Couple Checkup.
Deployment:
Military Life:
Practical Ideas to Encourage:
For Churches:
For Chaplains:
What You Can Do
Home Front Resources
If there is an issue in your marriage that you have not been able to resolve on your own, then that is the time to call in the expert(s). The longer you wait, the worse things usually get. A strength of healthy couples is that they get help when they recognize the need. Most installations have a Family Life Chaplain who has received extra training in marital and family counseling. If you are not near a military installation, seek guidance from your local pastor or a Christian Counseling Center if one is available. Another source of help is Military Onesource, which offers up to six cost-free, confidential counseling sessions to eligible military personnel and their family members.
If you don't get help from one counselor, do not give up! Try another until you find one who helps! Marriages that endure are built by couples who are willing to do whatever it takes to succeed.
Marriage Counseling
Copyright Benita Koeman 2008 - 2010
Copyright Benita Koeman 2008 - 2010
